It's 2:07 AM and I cannot sleep. The memories of the past few days are flooding my mind and my heart just breaks. I understand completely the whole life cycle thing. I believe with my whole heart that once my mother takes her last breath that she will be in the presence of Holy God. But, I cannot bear the thought of her not being here...

I hate that she is in a place she described as "where you go to die." I hate that she realizes what is happening to her right now. I hate that she is resigned to the state of life for her as it is. I'm not that strong. I would have given up long before now, had it been me.