"Losing a parent, especially your mother is somthing that no one could ever describe acurately." Those are words that David spoke to me recently when I was having a hard time explaining how I was dealing with this passage of time.

Being the only daughter of four children gave me a whole different viewpoint of our mother. I know all my brothers knew our mom's tenderness and love as well as those times of discipline. But, I thank God for the gift of knowing my mother through that part that was uniquely feminine. There is so much to be said for how a mom teaches her daughter to live. And I have been truly blessed throughout our years together.

Even now, as she lies in her hospice bed at home, she has a dignity that is filled with graceful virtue. Last weekend, she withstood having her body moved and changed with that dignity. I've learned so much at my mother's feet. What will I ever do without her...

Dave and I will be going up tonight and I realize how precious this time is. I just spoke with my dad and sister-in-law. Both say she has rallied a bit; she's no longer talking out of her head and Daddy said she even ate a few bites of yogurt and drank a sip of ginger ale. I lay in bed earlier and with tears streaming down my face asked the Lord, "Remember when Jesus said that if it were possible, to let the cup pass by Him?" I prayed with all I had that my mother would somehow get better and have a few more months of health to share with us all. And, then, I asked forgiveness that I would ever presume to ask God to alter whatever plans He has.