The Secret Christian Handshake

A little Christian sarcasm for you this morning from Matt of The Church of No People. I might need to file this handshake away to confuse that one person in my life who seems to think he knows my heart better than the Lord does. Oops - I just added the snark factor to this.

Here's Matt's uber cool thoughts:

One thing Christians like to do is find out who's 'in the club.'
...we have high standards for who is really in the club. If you're talking about someone, it might be enough to describe someone as a 'Christian.' But that could still leave doubts. Is he really in the club, or just a poser? Solution? Tell them he's a strong Christian. Ahhh. My fears are averted. He's not a fake or a weakling Christian with no street cred. He's a strong Christian. He's represent'in.

I think Christians need a special handshake, a street handshake that only real players down with the J.C. will be able to do. If you try to do this, and your Christian brother can't pull it off, you'll know he's not in the club!

My secret Christian handshake goes like this:

Shake hands with your homie, one pump will do,
Go in for the fist bump,
Now open your hand and tickle your dawg's paw,
Ready now?
Hammer the nails,
Lift His name,
Raise the banner, Christian soldier,
Put those hands up, give some praise and a high five,
Shake the tambourine,
Pass the plate,
Give the two finger blessing,
Nothing but net,
Move in for the side hug.

If you're confused, it should look something like this:

A side note: If you go to Matt's site to read the whole post, there's a Simpson's video entitled "No Homers Club" that Matt uses in response to Michael Jackson's death. I try hard not to post any video that I've not viewed. Some computer quirk came up each time I tried to view it (something to do with a script) so I've not been able to check it out. I've got my own thoughts about both The Simpsons & MJ, and they fall under my "who am I and what do I know" motto.