Monday, August 29, 2011

I...just...cleaned...a whole chicken

Why has no one ever warned me about this? I've deboned cooked chickens and found that to be more trouble than it's worth, but have never cleaned a chicken, or a hen, or whatever the heck that thing is called.

Why has no one ever told me about all the pinky/red slimy looking stuff that hides inside the cavity. Well, that should have been my warning: I was putting my hands inside a cavity. I can't think for the life of me of any cavity that would be worth doing that.

My beautiful sweet daughter-in-law bought some beer while here on their visit last week. None of us drink beer so I thought I'd try to make an oven roasted beer can chicken. I've heard others tell me that chicken cooked in this way was really delicious. So, I bought a whole chicken and thought I'd get it prepared so Sean could put it in the oven for me while I was teaching this afternoon.

Step one says to clean the chicken and pat it dry. I knew there would be {{{shudder}}} "insides" like livers and gizzards - maybe there's only one of each, but however many, that's way too many for me to have to touch. When I've cooked a turkey before, the insides were in this tidy little bag. Perdue chose not to gift bag them for me so as I stared inside this chicken's behind I saw all the shiny stuff and decided to try to dump them out. It worked fairly well but I saw some clingers left behind and decided to use a spoon. Oh, my. On further investigation I saw these tubey shaped things. egad... Deep Breath... you can do this... I scraped away. As pleased as one can be in this situation I thought I was finished until I turned the chicken the other way and discovered a second opening. There's nothing pretty about a chicken's neck hole. Just sayin'.

The thing is now clean and patted dry, sprinkled generously with the dry rub and in the fridge. The beer is sitting out to get to room temp. I now understand the part of the recipe instructions that said to open the can and drink at least 1/3 of it before you begin.

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