How to Celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day at Church

From Church Mojo:

1. Say an Aaarrr Father.
2. Read Paul’s Letter to the Caribbeans.
3. When in doubt, say “Ahoy there, me sacred hearties!”
4. Stay far, far away from Pontius Pirate.
5. Study “St. Peter’s Guide to Walking on Water: Surviving the Plank Walk in Three Easy Steps.”
6. Suffer no fools who offer pieces of the “true skull & crossbones”…
7. Read the Good Book-aneer
8. Ponderrrr the lives of Saint Godric of Finchale and St. Olaf, the pirate saints (in their younger days)
9. Cannon-ize yer enemies
10. Remember always that ours is an awesome grog.