Coping

Just spent time talking with Daddy. He still misses Mama so very much, so the call was filled not only with memories but with a lot of tears. It's incredibly hard for me to hear my father sob. He was so strong and stoic for all my life because that's the way he was brought up - men didn't cry. Men made a living for the family and took care of business while providing the deep yet reserved love needed.

A long time friend died yesterday. I'd been told about the illness a few weeks ago and knew the prognosis wasn't good, but chose not to tell Daddy. Between the stroke(s) and heart problems plus Mama's passing I just didn't think it would help for him to know. He heard the news yesterday from one of my brothers and sent me this:

"I don't know if I'm up to attending his funeral...I'd probably cry more than Christine ..I've got to where I'm able to sleep all night ...in fact I got up @ 7 o'clock .. but I still reach for Dot during the night - when I do wake up during the night."

It's just so terribly hard. I told him to send flowers and not go to the funeral because right now all things dealing with death brings him back to Mama. He cried and I cried along with him. He talked of Sean, Natasha, guitars, Mike and the garden and how Patsy still takes such good care of his laundry and home. But, most of all, he talked of missing Mama.

I do, too.