James 1:17 says that every good gift in our lives has its source in God. That tells us a lot about the nature of God if we'll make the connection." - Nancy Ortberg "Looking For God: An unexpected journey through tattoos, tofu & pronouns"

God has been doing one of those "working things" in my life lately. I told David about it a couple of weeks ago and his reaction was, "Uh-oh!" I, of course, asked what he meant by that and he told me that every time God worked in my life so palpably it usually meant trouble for him. Once again, it's all about him (I'm saying this with a huge grin).

It seems that over time I've become quite the cynical sarcastic person. A pastor's wife can only deal with so many times of well intentioned comments toward herself or family, or those infamous "I thought you might need to know what's being said about your husband" conversations that pierce the heart before said heart becomes hardened by a protective shell. I've found the problem with this personally is that my flippant, cynical, sarcastic side, which many of my friends find hilariously funny, was affecting my view of people. I no longer saw people with the loving compassionate heart of God because I just knew that somewhere down the line they'd be trouble. I lost my tenderness and God was letting me know it in a big way.

So, now I'm on this journey back. Back to the days of innocence when I didn't look at people with a critical eye toward whether or not they were out to get me or my family. I'm having to make conscious decisions about it, too. I'm having to think twice and sometimes three times before I speak. David is probably getting really tired of hearing me say, "No! Nope! I'm not going there" before I start to comment on something or answer a question.

I also found that I'd lost my thankfulness. I had turned into a complainer looking at every person or situation for the bad. I can just imagine God looking down at me saying, "Enough with the whining, already!" Without even knowing it, I'd lost one of the most basic parts of being His. Remember when you were just a kid? The first prayer we were taught was usually "thank You for Mommy, thank You for Daddy" or the simple "thank You for this food." Teaching children to be thankful and praise God is one the first and simplest prayers there is.

I'm reading through Philippians this week and I keep stopping at the tiny word "if" in the second chapter. IF you have encouragement from being united in Christ, IF any comfort from His love, IF any fellowship with the Spirit, IF any tenderness and compassion...if I don't, then I'm the one with the problem! I think God got tired of me not making the connection.