With my mother's failing health and so many more pressures of life I find I'm losing my laughter. I guess that's an appropriate reaction to life. But, I've always found laughter to be my stress reliever. It's always been the way I've dealt with pressures. This pressure has done me in and I'm losing my laughter.I know what is right; I know that my God goes before me in times of trouble. And yet, I am nearing a state of despair. It doesn't make sense. How can a person know in her heart of hearts who God is and understand so completely that He is in control find herself feeling so despondent?Why does laughter matter? Its absence is one of the first indicators that something has tarnished our soul, stolen our joy.When we are badly in need of renewal, when sin has taken root in our lives, when our prayers grow dull or discouragement sets in, we seldom see it right away, but others seeking God's presence in us leave empty. That's a big loss. Virelle Kidder in "Meet Me at the Well"
It's hard for me to look at this as lack of faith. I believe I'm in a state of grief, not mourning. So I will continue to lean into the arms of the One Who carries me close to His heart.
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