Did he really say that?

~ We once had a pastor who had served in the military and was fond of using powerful "combat" sermon illustrations. He failed to make the impression he wished, though, the morning that several of us giggled at his referencing soldiers wounded in Iraq by "exploding IUDs." (Elizabeth)

~ A few years ago, the church I was serving had a time in the Sunday morning service for members of the congregation to share prayer requests, and then someone would pray for them. It was my Sunday, and I took several requests, jotting them down. One lady asked for prayer for her daughter, who was scheduled to have a biopsy. I made my notes, finished taking requests and began to pray. As I prayed for her daughter, I prayed that she would come through her AUTOPSY just fine, with positive results. Most of the people in the crowd managed to hold their laughter, but there were several snickers and chuckles. After I concluded the prayer with "Amen," the entire congregation burst out laughing. I had no idea what was going on until someone told me what I had said. I was embarrassed, to say the least. Needless to say, the daughter came through the "autopsy" just fine. (Jeff)

~ We knew the Deacon who was giving the Offering Prayer was anticipating a fried chicken dinner when he mistakenly said: "Lord, bless these gifts and their gizzards!" (Judy)

~ One Sunday our pastor was preaching and made a statement that he wanted to specify a condition for. His exact words were: "However, there's a but. Listen carefully to my but..." The musicians were all sitting in the front row, and all dissolved in howls of laughter, followed by a surprised expression from the pastor. (Tim)

From Mike's Funnies