Living in the Joy of the Promise

I've spent much of the last couple of days fighting the depression of my mom's illness and nursing home situation. Listening as my dad pours out his heart is almost too much to bear. I go up as often as I can (every other weekend) but I know it's not nearly enough.

There are different stages of life and this is one that I wish no one had to experience. I spent the morning reading an article entitled "Spiritual Care in Times of Transition" and wonder if or how it might help both my parents:

Some suggestions for spiritual care during transitions that can be shared by all staff (or family):

Marking endings:

• Validate the losses and the feelings those losses provoke.
• Listen to the story of what has been lost and the importance it held in the person's life.
• Suggest ways to mark the ending—whether it be a ritual, creating a remembrance piece, or taking a symbolic action.

Support in the in-between neutral zone:

• Elicit stories of prior changes and transitions they have navigated and help them remember the strengths that got them through those.
• Provide activities that give them a taste of fun and creativity, a reminder that their lives are not all loss and change.
• Encourage them to intentionally practice being grateful even in this difficult time.
• Be present and attentive.
• If it's congruent with their tradition, pray with them and for them.

Celebrating beginnings:

• Create a ritual of celebration and blessing.
• Encourage them to tell their story and share it with others who may be going through a similar transition.
• Ask them what this experience has meant and what they have learned.
• Affirm the future. It may not be the future they once thought they had, but they do have one.

I desperately want the celebration part for my parents. With Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up I fear for more depression for both of them. I've given her address to friends and relatives and asked them to send her cards. But, how long can a person stand it when they lose life as they've always known it? To be surrounded by others who are so utterly dependent just as you are has to be incredibly hard to stand. A person would have to be extraordinarily strong emotionally to see joy in it all.

A favorite quote of mine says, "One day we will meet beside the river and our Lord will dry
every tear. For now, we must live in the joy of that promise and recall that for every generation life is hard, but God is faithful." -- Bodie Thoene

It's not always about the present joy. Sometimes, we have to dig deeper and live in the joy of the promise.