The Friends We Keep

David receives books from publishers to read & review. On occasion they'll send a "woman's" book and he'll pass them along to me. I don't have much patience for most women's books. I'm of the opinion that if it's a book written specifically towards a particular gender then it must be leaving out a whole lot of important stuff. If it is a Christian book written for women, then that's a double whammy and I feel safe saying that 99% of the time it will be the same ol' same ol' thing. I'll pass.

So, when Dave received the last book for women, he handed it to me, and I handed it over to my dear friend Amy Anderson. Amy has a heart for the Lord AND she's intelligent. So, with that rare combination I pass along this book review she penned:

In her book, “The Friends We Keep: A Woman’s Quest for the Soul of Friendship”, Sarah Zacharias Davis explores and questions the various facets of feminine friendships. This book is well-researched, including summaries from works of fiction (i.e. “The Joy Luck Club”) movies (The Big Chill) and scientific studies.

All of that well-cited research made me wish I was reading those books or watching those movies. While Zacharias Davis documents that female friendships are special, and that they can be both places of refuge and places of intense pain, she never provides guidance on what to do with these friendships. If this were the only book on the subject, I still wouldn’t know why we keep the friends we do. I still wouldn’t know what I’m supposed to do about the friendships that just faded away.

The highlights of her book are the vignettes from other women’s lives – stories of painful separation and the overwhelming comfort of friendships. Those stories resonate with women. Although Zacharias Davis raises great questions, she rarely answers those questions definitively.

This book is classified Women/Christian Living. If I pick up a Christian book, I want conclusions based on Biblical truths. I want my Jesus books to be more…Jesus-y. He’s in there, but the book would pretty much be the same if the references to Him were withdrawn.

At the beginning of her book Zacharias Davis asks herself, ”Do we need to know the answers to these questions to be a good friend or to have a fulfilling friendship – or am I simply overanalyzing that which just happens naturally?”

Maybe. It may be that any attempt to trace out that which defines and solidifies the best female friendships is like trying to deconstruct a spider web with a claw hammer.

Still, Zacharias Davis raises some revealing questions, particularly in the questions designed to guide a discussion group on friendship. That there is so much research crammed into this one book may be an indicator that this is a subject that defies definition and cut-and-dried answers.

This makes me grateful for the friends I have, whose friendship simply is. And it makes me thankful beyond belief for a Savior who calls Himself friend to me, despite my many failures as a friend to Him. I don’t write, I don’t call, I’m sure I would have fallen asleep in the garden. And yet, there He stays. That’s the best story from “The Friends We Keep” – the example of the One Friend Who never fails.

From the publisher:

The Friends We Keep is Sarah’s thoughtful account of her own story and the stories of other women about navigating friendship. With heartfelt, intelligent writing, Sarah explores the questions every woman asks about friendship and more with personal stories, cultural references and history, faith, and grace. In the process, she delivers wisdom for navigating the challenges, mysteries, and delights of friendship: why we need friendships with other women, what it means to be safe in relationship, and how to embrace what a friend has to offer, whether meager or generous.

The 40 Minute Bible Study series from beloved Bible teacher Kay Arthur and the teaching staff of Precept Ministries tackles important issues in brief, easy-to-grasp lessons you can use personally or for small-group discussion. Each book in the series includes six 40-minute studies designed to draw you into God’s Word through basic inductive Bible study. There are 16 titles in the series, with topics ranging from fasting and forgiveness to prayer and worship. With no homework required, everyone in the group can work through the lesson together at the same time. Let these respected Bible teachers lead you in a study that will transform your thinking—and your life.

Author Bios:

Sarah Zacharias Davis is a senior advancement officer at Pepperdine University, having joined the university after working as vice president of marketing and development for Ravi Zacharias International Ministries and in strategic marketing for CNN. The daughter of best-selling writer Ravi Zacharias, Davis is the author of the critically-acclaimed Confessions from an Honest Wife and Transparent: Getting Honest About Who We are and Who We Want to Be. She graduated from Covenant College with a degree in education and lives in Los Angeles, California.

Kay Arthur, executive vice president and cofounder of Precept Ministries International has worked with her teaching staff to create the powerful 40-Minute Bible Studies series. Kay is known around the world as a Bible teacher, author, conference speaker, and host of national radio and television programs.